Have I changed?
Do I still have the same problems I had many years ago? Do I still act the same way? Is my heart any different?
And what about those around me? Have I changed with them? Despite them? Because of them? Without them?
I committed to the most amazing journey of transformation ever promised to any human being, but I know I have wandered, meandered, ignored and stubbornly refused to move forward more than once on the path laid before me.
I find myself seemingly incapable of making some changes, while others seem to take an eternity. Meanwhile things I used to do well, I forget and abandon till I’m reminded of their value. Have I genuinely changed, or is it all a shallow facade, where tiredness reveals the real me, the one I don’t want people to see.
And how have I helped to change other people? Have I inspired, supported, acknowledged or encouraged anyone? Have I been used by my guide as a sign post for anyone else?
You see the journey I’m on is not lonely. It’s done in community, the most beautifully diverse group of individuals anyone has ever called together. Each member, distinct and individual, is going through their own transformational experience, and each has their own stumbling blocks. Accountability and celebration are the key characteristics of these brothers and sisters that define them as alive, living and vibrant. Passion for progression and endless encouragement are ever present in the fastest moving communities, where speed is defined not by finding the winner, but by ensuring every runner crosses the finish line.
Have I changed?
My personal transformation is still scarred with my own imperfections, weaknesses and refusals, and is far from complete, and yet I know with all my heart that my Perfect Guide is still leading me on. I trust in Him, in my Saviour, in my Pathfinder, with all my heart, seeking His will in all that I do, trusting that He knows the right way. And when I stumble, I know He will pick me up, hold me close, remind me of His love, and help me back onto the path.
Thank you, Jesus, for Your never-failing, soul-shaking love.
And thank you for surrounding me with encouragers, wall-breakers, hint-droppers and guardians. You have equipped me.
Now it’s my turn to respond.
I fix my eyes, get up once again, and continue the journey set before me.